Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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