That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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