He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
