nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
