their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
