He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
