I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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