Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I understand Curling. That high.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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