Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
