Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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