Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
