I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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