I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
