how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
