i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
