Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
