Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
