were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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