"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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