That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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