tell your sister to shave her snatch
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
