I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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