I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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