no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize