wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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