As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
