take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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