I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
