I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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