Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
