Me. At least after what I've been through.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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