I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
