Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My balls are so social today.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize