Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My pussy is not your playground.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
