Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
