he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
