Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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