I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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