I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
