Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
