I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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