sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
