I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I could make wine with my vomit
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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