I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
