it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
