I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
