why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
