I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Randomize
