My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
