Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
