do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Randomize
