quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you mean i was at the winter classic?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
