my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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