Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
