that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
