I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
