I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
