PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
