I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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