whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
