i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
