so explain again why im purple
no
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Last time i carry you out of a forest
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
