yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
