I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
