dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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