i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
