I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
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